going away

tim in santa fe max going to burning man molly in Philly I'm taking off and driving to PennYan. where? Penn Yan. my home town for 9 formative years. to swim in the lake, talk with old old friends, remember the country side that is so familiar it feels like breathing. the rolling hills and vineyards. the people who never left. the ones who work in the salt mine. the president of the class working in the salt mine. everything the same but nothing the same. I'll drive all alone with my audiobooks for 7 hours, wonderful way to go on a long drive. hope my hip doesn't hurt.
use this time to relax and forget the nagging annoyances of everyday .things that seem so important until you leave. get things in perspective. it is not important. going where the air quality is always good. even in august.

I'm running away from chocolate..wherever I go it's there lurking..up a pound, down an ounce. really good intentions, best of intentions..it lasts until the least tiny weeny thing makes me tense and I HAVE TO HAVE CHOCOLATE....wait 15 minutes. how bad is 12 mini Hershey bars? really. just skip a meal right? eliminate everything except chocolate..and a smoothie in the morning. would that not be healthy? nah myoho renge kyo. yumyumyum

so tired. wrangling with numbers and fitting them into acceptable categories until the fed lady says ok you're fine. fries my brain. a client came back after a year. life falling apart. sad and glad to see her sad about the life. meet them where they are. that means everyone. even if irritation and frustration are blocking the door. keep the impatience from short circuiting communication. but new roses, cat mint, a tree..something asian, and black eyed susans cleared the clouds away and set things right again. then thai broccoli and brown rice settles it down. trashy book to clear out any heavy thoughts and pretty soon I can go to sleep and then start all over again. better than the alternative.